Boosting Your Self Confidence: 'Successful people
often exude confidence—it’s obvious that they believe in themselves and what
they’re doing. It isn’t their success that makes them confident, however. The
confidence was there first.
Think about it:
Doubt breeds doubt. Why
would anyone believe in you, your ideas, or your abilities
if you didn’t
believe in them yourself?
It takes confidence
to reach for new challenges. People who are fearful or insecure tend to
stay within their comfort zones. But comfort zones rarely expand on their own.
That’s why people who lack confidence get stuck in dead-end jobs and let
valuable opportunities pass them by.
Unconfident people
often feel at the mercy of external circumstances. Successful people
aren’t deterred by obstacles, which is how they rise up in the first place.
No one is stopping
you from what you want to accomplish but yourself. It’s time to remove that
barrier of self-doubt.
Confidence is a
crucial building block in a successful career, and embracing it fully will take
you places you never thought possible. With proper guidance and hard work,
anyone can become more confident. Once you pass a certain point, you’ll feel it
from the inside.
Here are eight
bulletproof strategies to get you there.
1. Take an Honest
Look at Yourself
Johnny Unitas said,
“There is a difference between conceit and confidence. Conceit is bragging
about yourself. Confidence means you believe you can get the job done.” In
other words, confidence is earned through hard work, and confident
people are self-aware. When your confidence exceeds your abilities, you’ve
crossed the line into arrogance. You need to know the difference.
True confidence is
firmly planted in reality. To grow your confidence, it’s important to do an
honest and accurate self-assessment of your abilities. If there are weaknesses
in your skill set, make plans for strengthening these skills and find ways to
minimize their negative impact. Ignoring your weaknesses or pretending they’re strengths
won’t make them go away. Likewise, having a clear understanding of your
strengths enables you to shake off some of the more groundless feedback and
criticism you can get in a busy, competitive work environment—and that builds
confidence.
2. Say No
Research conducted
at the University of California in San Francisco showed that the more
difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience
stress, burnout, and even depression, all of which erode confidence. Confident
people know that saying no is healthy, and they have the self-esteem to make
their nos clear. When it’s time to say no, confident people avoid phrases such
as “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” They say no with confidence
because they know that saying no to a new commitment honors their existing
commitments and gives them the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.
3. Get Right with
Your Boss
A troubled
relationship with the boss can destroy even the most talented person’s
confidence. It’s hard to be confident when your boss is constantly criticizing
you or undermining your contributions. Try to identify where the relationship
went wrong and decide whether there’s anything you can do to get things back on
track. If the relationship is truly unsalvageable, it may be time to move on to
something else.
4. Seek Out Small
Victories
Confident people
tend to challenge themselves and compete, even when their efforts yield small
victories. Small victories build new androgen receptors in the areas of the
brain responsible for reward and motivation. This increase in androgen
receptors increases the influence of testosterone, which further increases your
confidence and your eagerness to tackle future challenges. When you have a
series of small victories, the boost in your confidence can last for months.
5. Find a Mentor
Nothing builds
confidence like a talented, experienced person showing you the way and patting
you on the back for a job well done. A good mentor can act as a mirror, giving
you the perspective you need to believe in yourself. Knowledge breeds
confidence—knowing where you stand helps you focus your energy more
effectively. Beyond that, a mentor can help educate you on some of the cultural
inner workings of your organization. Knowing the unwritten rules of how to get
things done in your workplace is a great confidence booster.
6. Schedule
Exercise
A study conducted
at the Eastern Ontario Research Institute found that people who exercised twice
a week for 10 weeks felt more competent socially, academically, and athletically.
They also rated their body image and self-esteem higher. Best of all, rather
than the physical changes in their bodies being responsible for the uptick in
confidence, it was the immediate, endorphin-fueled positivity from exercise
that made all the difference. Schedule your exercise to make certain it
happens, and your confidence will stay up.
7. Dress for
Success
Like it or not, how
we dress has a huge effect on how people see us. Things like the color, cut,
and style of the clothes we wear—and even our accessories—communicate loudly.
But the way we dress also affects how we see ourselves. Studies have shown that
people speak differently when they’re dressed up compared to when they’re
dressed casually. To boost your confidence, dress well. Choose clothing that
reflects who you are and the image you want to project, even if that means
spending more time at the mall and more time getting ready in the morning.
8. Be Assertive,
Not Aggressive
Aggressiveness
isn’t confidence; it’s bullying. And when you’re insecure, it’s easy to slip
into aggressiveness without intending to. Practice asserting yourself without
getting aggressive (and trampling over someone else in the process). You won’t
be able to achieve this until you learn how to keep your insecurities at bay,
and this will increase your confidence.
Bringing It All
Together
Your confidence is
your own to develop or undermine. Confidence is based on reality. It’s the
steadfast knowledge that goes beyond simply “hoping for the best.” It ensures
that you’ll get the job done—that’s the power of true confidence.
How else would you
suggest people increase their confidence? Please share your thoughts in the
comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me'. Culled Via LinkedIn Pulse
About Author: Dr. Travis
Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book, Emotional
Intelligence 2.0, and the cofounder of TalentSmart, the world's
leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training.
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